Touching The Lights
by lynuco
Summary: Berwald takes Tino to see the northern lights again after being away from them for so long. On the way there, tragedy strikes. Will he be able to save Tino?


Grabbing Tino's hand, Berwald let a small smile appear on his face. When he saw the look of pure confusion on his boyfriends face he smiled even more.

"I have a surprise for you" he explained.

"you do?" the blonde asked.

"I do" he confirmed with a small laugh.

With that, he gently pulled Tino towards the garage of his house, the smaller blondes noises of protest falling on deaf ears. When he reached the garage

Berwald pushed open the door, chipped wood scraping against his fingers. With a small smirk on his face, he held out his hand and gestured to the automobile sitting unused in the middle of the room. although his smile fell when Tino only looked at the car, dumbfounded.

"Berwald, honey, I have no idea why you're pointing at your mother's old car," the short man said, violet eyes shining with confusion.

He snorted, "it's spring break, what do people do on spring break?"

"go to the beach?"

"well yes- but I was thinking we should go somewhere different"

"Wait, don't you have to go to your aunts over spring break?"

The tall blonde sighed and took Tino's hands in his, tracing small circles over his knuckles. "my mother and I have been talking about it, she agreed to let me take you up to see the northern lights for a couple days. it'll be just me and you".

he jumped slightly when Tino hauled him into a bone-crushing hug. After a few moments of Tino letting out inhuman squeals, the man seemed to finally realize that he was cutting off Berwald's air supply and loosened his grip around the man's neck.

"Berwald thank you so much! but.. isn't that such a long drive? you really don't have to go through all that trouble"

Another smile crept onto his face, "I want to take you though. I know you've missed seeing the northern lights since you moved here from Finland"

he said, running his hand through Tino's hair messily.

The next few days after that went quickly, Tino and Berwald packing and planning the route to Halifax.

When the time finally came for them to leave, the excited buzz had picked up again and they'd settled into the car.

"Hey, Berwald?" Tino asked.

"yeah?"

"are we going to be camping or staying a hotel. not that I mind either way! I'm sure it'll still be a lovely trip!" the violet-eyed man said, starting to babble.

They'd been driving for about an hour and a half and the entire time questions like that had been coming from the smaller blonde.

The swede sighed and glanced in the rearview mirror before looking at Tino.

"Stop worrying, I've got it all planned out".

Berwald stated to think, did he have it all planned out? would Tino even like it? of course he had spent months saving up money and finding the perfect arrangements. As he thought he could faintly hear Tino say his name.

"Berwald? are you okay?" the small blonde asked, undoing his seatbelt to lean over to Berwald. "Ber? whats wrong-"

When a blood-curdling scream tore from Tino's throat he was finally snapped out of his thoughts, but before he could identify the problem he was being hurled forwards against the steering wheel. As his grip slackened and the sound of cracking filled his ears,

he could have sworn they were flying. His seatbelt dug into his neck and his head collided with the hard roof of the car, causing him to let out a

pained cry. His brain finally gave in to the darkness dancing in the corners of his eyes and he blacked out, going limp as the car continued to flip.

When he managed to force his eyes open, everything was blurry and his head was searing with pain as ringing filled his ears. what happened?

Had the car crashed? it sure felt like it. As he woke up more he realized three things, His glasses had fallen off and most likely broken in the crash,

his arm, legs, and chest had small, but seemingly deep wounds on them, and from what he could see, Tino was missing. Eyes widening slightly,

he looked around the wreck as frantically as his throbbing head would allow.

Then he saw it, his entire body tensing as he scanned the shattered windshield. that couldn't have happened. Tino had been wearing his seatbelt- hadn't he?.

the last time the man checked the Finn had been wearing it. His heart seemed to stop for a few moments and he shakily tried to rip the seatbelt off his body, causing more blood to seep from the wounds on his arm. realizing that it wasn't working, Berwald attempted to calm down and stop heaving in breaths. when he accomplished slowing down his breathing to wheezing and hiccups he slid his violently trembling hand down to unbuckle his seat belt,

only then realizing that the car, or what was left of it, was sitting upside down. Berwald sighed, Shook his head and reached forwards, dragging himself from his seat and towards the shattered windshield.

Grunts and whines tore painfully from his throat as he ignored the glass scraping against his body. Once the Swede had managed to crawl from the wreck, he lied on his back with a grunt. He wanted- no, needed to get up, to look for Tino, but he couldn't. His muscled throbbed painfully

and the pesky threat of darkness still quaked in his already blurry vision.

After five minutes- or was it fifteen? Berwald couldn't tell, he slowly hauled himself up to his knees and slowly surveyed his surroundings.

Although his chest still burned it was nothing compared to the initial pain of waking up, so he decided to ignore it in favor of looking for any sight of his beloved Tino. He let his eyes scrutinize over blurry pieces of what he thought was the wreck until he realized it didn't exactly look like pieces of his car at all. The unidentified figure became more familiar as he almost frantically looked over the black cloth and the light blonde hair,

but he also scanned over the patch of red that had obstructed the ground around the figure that he now assumed was Tino.

Breath catching in his throat, Berwald scrambled towards the small blonde, hissing and grunting as the small wounds on his knees were stabbed with sharp rocks. When he finally managed to crawl his way to where Tino was laying covered in bruises, cuts, and dirt, he cradled the boys

head to his chest, almost letting out a sob of relief when a rasped breath slipped from Tino's lips.

"Tino" he rasped, throat already feeling tight. His beloved Tino was lying in a pool of his own blood because of him, he'd done this he realized.

The reality of the situation was starting to weigh down on his chest, hurting more than the cuts and throbbing of him limbs ever could.

"Oh god..." he rasped, throat tightening painfully.

"Berwald?". It was barely a whisper and would have gone unnoticed by the tall man had he not seen Tino's lips part slightly

"Tino.."

Berwald watched as Tino's violet eyes opened, seemingly devoid of their usual light, leaving behind sunken, dark pits of nothing but pain.

He didn't dwell on that thought for long though when Tino's small voice broke the suffocating silence once more.

"Hurts" the small man whispered, making Berwald's eyes tear away from Tino's pain filled face,

down his torso to where a deep wound resided. His lips pursed in thought as he hesitantly put a hand to the blondes heavily bleeding right side.

His brain was frantically looking for something to say but he couldn't quite grasp the words as they slipped to the back of his thoughts, leaving blanks

where anything remotely comforting would have been in any other situation.

"I know" he uttered, brushing more blonde hair out of the face of his love.

They lied like that for a few moments, in the middle of the road, Tino's head resting on Berwald's chest as labored breaths filled the silence.

Although when Berwald saw storm clouds in the distance he subconsciously tightened his grip on

Tino's limp frame and began to shift into a standing position. He knew that it would be better for both him and Tino to be under the nearby trees than in the murky rainwater. So he ignored the pained wheezes coming from Tino and weakly limped over to the treeline, making sure not to jolt the younger blonde too much.

When he finally had them settled into a somewhat comfortable position, he suddenly had the thought of checking his phone,

seeing if he could contact anyone. He reached into his back pocket and slid the device out, hissing when the cracked screen dug into his already injured hand. Broken, of course, his one and only means of communication was broken.

Why wouldn't it be? He felt tears of frustration leak from his eyes and threw the broken phone away from him.

"Ber, calm down, it's okay, really"

His head whipped around to Tino, making his ears ring and pain to careen behind his eyes.

Lips pursing, he stared sadly at the pale, feminine figure on the ground.

Always so calm, too calm. As he saw the small man's somber expression he thought back to all the times Tino had kept himself together when Berwald couldn't. And even now, as he lay in pools of his own blood, life slowly draining from him, he didn't seem to panic.

On the outside, Tino looked just as calm as ever but Berwald knew by looking into those fading eyes, that his lover was terrified.

So he gradually knelt next to him and grabbed the smaller hands in his own larger ones. He tried to keep the small sobs from

escaping his throat but they poured out anyways as he placed his head on Tino's chest. Words tried to pass from his lips.

He tried to tell Tino that no, it wasn't okay, none of this was okay but before he could find his voice a small hand was gently placed on his head.

"Berwald, I know you're scared, I am too but we'll make it through this" Tino said.

"I'll be okay, we'll both be okay, you hear me?".

Looking up when Tino's voice wavered, he nodded and pressed his hands back to the wound on the males side. "The bleeding isn't stopping" he stated, a sinking feeling settling in his chest for what must have been the thousandth time that afternoon.

Once again, a small hand shakily touched his face, leaving smudges crimson behind on his pale face.

"I don't want you to worry" He heard Tino whisper soothingly. "it's been at least a few hours since I was in any pain".

He nodded once more before he processed what Tino had said. A few hours? Had they been there for hours?

he didn't know, all he knew was that it felt like seconds. Everything was happening around him, passing by much too quickly for him. Although now that he actually looked around, it was getting dark and the sun was disappearing over the horizon causing streaks of colours to blend in with the fast approaching storm clouds. Berwald sighed and pulled Tino closer to him.

"Everything is happening so fast, I didn't realize it was getting so late. I should at least wrap your side before it gets too dark,

maybe slow the bleeding in till we can get help in the morning". with that, he set the blonde down gently and started taking off his coat before

Tino stopped him.

"Ber, it's going to get cold in the night, and besides" the man whispered, "I've bled quite a bit already"

Berwald's brain didn't have to be normally functioning for him to know. Tino thought it was too late and perhaps it was and he just didn't know it yet. He had never been very good at comprehending social situations

and in that moment he was thankful, yet terrified of how blunt Tino was being.

"Why don't you want me to wrap it? it could work, this could work" he said. "Aren't you scared?"

Tino's mouth opened and closed a few times before a bittersweet smile appeared on his face. "It was terrifying at first," he said, "with all the pain and the ringing in my ears. but now that I'm here It's not a scary as I thought it would be you know? I don't feel scared, if anything I just feel numb"

"Is it a bad kind of numb?" he asked.

"yeah, I believe it is," Tino said, weakly gripping one of Berwald's hands.

He planted a small kiss on the back of Tino's hand as he felt raindrops start to lightly hit his back.

His head Tilted up and he saw that the storm had gotten much closer, too close.

But even then, the bright colours of the northern lights shone through, making the drops falling from the sky appear

different colours. it was ironic really, that what was happening in front of him was the worst moments of his life yet the sky was one of the most beautiful things he'd ever seen. Well, at least he thought it was ironic, not that he was any good at comprehending irony.

"Hey, Berwald?"

"Yeah?"

"Do you think I could touch the lights one day?"

Of course, the question was absurd, touching lights in the sky was impossible but he wasn't about to crush his boyfriend's

dreams. "you're strong and you can do a lot of things, I don't doubt that would be one of them" He said. Placing his large hand on Tino's chest, he took comfort in the way it rose and fell under his hand. He knew he needed to say something because this was most probably the last time he would ever get to, so he awkwardly started trying to gather his thoughts. "I'd give my life for you".

A small laugh that was barely anything at all filled the silence, "I love you too".

To avoid openly sobbing he used the hand on Tino's chest to synchronize their breathing.

A breath in, a breath out

Another breath in, Another breath out.

A choked sob filled the silence as the beating under his hand stopped and there was no more rise and fall of the blonde boy's chest.

He forced himself to look up at Tino's face and cried harder when he saw the forever unseeing eyes still staring at the lights.

Cradling his body gently, he realized just how cold Tino felt, Although he didn't let go. He sat there for what seemed like seconds,

but he knew he'd seen the sunrise several times. He didn't let go of Tino when his hands went numb or when he wanted to curl in on himself.

He was only forced to let go when there were people surrounding him, prying his lover out of his hands and telling him that it was okay.

"It's okay now"

It really wasn't okay.

"you're safe"

He was never really in danger.

"you're going home"

The only time he felt at home is when he was with Tino.


End file.
